Is it PEM?

Woke feeling pretty damn good this morning, so I tried to do a couple of things, failed miserably and now I can barely function.

I used to love exercise. I would go to the gym for nearly 2 hours a day if time permitted. If I went for a walk, hike or run, I would feel tired for about an hour afterwards, but then my energy would spike and I would feel so good like I could do it all over again.

Now I take my dogs out the front of my house and walk about 100mtrs and I cant do anything for the rest of the day. I chop some veggies up and make a meal and I feel like I've been working out at the gym, but no recovery comes, no feeling good, no energy spike. I feel flat and sore, tired and exhausted. Its so frustrating. And lets be honest, I've literally done nothing. I may as well have never gotten up out of bed. Urgh.

There really is no way to describe the pain and fatigue though. Its not like anything I have ever felt before. A bad flu, maybe. Doing a new weight exercise at the gym, maybe. Running a marathon, maybe. These are all terms I use to describe it to someone who has no idea what I'm feeling, my general pain and fatigue. But really none of it comes close. And my brain fatigue, I have nothing to use to explain it. Its just empty in my head. And you wouldn't even know what that is like unless you have experienced.

Anyways, I am hoping for a better day tomorrow. I am happy that my stutter is almost non existent today and that I woke feeling pretty good. Its all about pacing oneself I think. Tomorrow, I might try the dogs again and see how I go. It felt good to try. Im just a bit disapointed it didnt last too long. But I tried and thats what I need to focus on.

I hope you are all having a good day too. And if not, tomorrow is a new day and we can try again.

Be kind to yourselves and happy healing.

With love

xox